Behind the scenes of Zelda
by PrincessZelda450
Summary: What happens when all the Zelda characters go to the nintendo studios to film their adventure to make into a video game? Please read, I am rubbish at summaries :/. Rated T for Ilia and Zelda's swearing issues, and Link and Zelda's snog fests. (Nothing inappropriate I promise)


**Ok hello there everyone. Well – I actually wrote a chapter for this and published it – but my writing skills – well, they weren't the best. So I am going to write this again.**

**ANYWAY, this is… BEHIND THE SCENES OF ZELDA! Basically this is what happens whilst Zelda is being filmed. **

**All the Zelda game characters went throught the gate of time to make a video game of their great adventure.**

**Well, in 3…2…1…ACTION!**

"AND CUT!" The director's voice could be heard over the whole of the Nintendo studios. He meant it only for the cast of Twilight Princess – But, the cast of Spirit Tracks, Skyward Sword and even New Super Mario Bros (In 3D, may I add) could probably hear it too.

"STAGEHAND!" The director called, "Fetch me the cardboard cutout of Ganondorf's death!"

The stagehand, an old woman who claimed she had been in an original Zelda game, bustled over carrying a large cardboard model of Ganondorf screaming.

The real Ganondorf was well away in the waiting room by now of course. "Hey, Ilia," He began, "Can I 'ave a biscuit?"

"Mmmhmm…" Ilia replied abent-mindedly, handing him a cup of coffee.

"I asked for a biscuit."

"I'm reading my magazine!" The blonde exclaimed angrily, "Get your own fucking biscuit!"

"Sorry! Sorry! Calm down!" Ganondorf shouted at her, "Anyway, have you…"

"HOLY SHIT!" Zelda's scream could be heard, "BAD HORSE! GET YOUR DIRTY MOUTH OFF MY DRESS!"

"OH MY GODDESS EPONA!" Link could now be heard "DID YOU EAT HER TIARA?!"

No one could hear Epona.

* * *

After another 29 takes, in which Midna kept falling over when she tried to turn around and reveal her true form, Link, Zelda and Midna appeared in the room.

An imp appeared from the toilet.

"OH MY DIN!" Ilia shouted, "MIDNA HOW THE HELL ARE THERE TWO OF YOU?"

"Pwff, we aren't the same Midna." The imp replied, "They couldn't curse someone for the sake of a video game. My name's Claire. She's the real Midna."

The real Midna waved at Ilia.

Ilia told her to fuck off.

Midna started crying and headed off to the toilets, before promptly coming back. "Oh my Nayru!" She said in between sobs, "Z-Z-Zant was in the ladies toilets!"

"Um." Said Zelda, not really sure what to think.

"A-A-And he… he…" Midna took a deep breath, "It-It really smelt in there."

"Nice to know." Said Link sarcastically.

"HEY GUYS!" Zant shouted, "IS DIORREAH CONTAGEOUS? COS IF IT IS, I WOULD STAY AWAY FROM ME IF I WERE YOU."

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew." Zelda ewed.

If ewed is a word.

Which it isn't.

"Zelda calm down." Link said, "Come one let's go for a walk."

Wink Wink.

Ilia was sure she could hear faint "I love you"s from down the corridor but she ignored it because she had bigger problems to focus on.

Namely, getting Telma to stop flirting with Renaldo infront of little kids. She was getting a bit out of hand.

"Hey Telma. Telma." Ilia said suddenly, "There are little kids around."

"So? They need to learn the language of looooove." Telma replied.

"Not at the age of 3 they don't." Ilia said firmly, "Come on Talo."

"I'm 7." He replied.

"Sorry. Come on Talo, I don't want you hearing those words, come out into the corridor."

Ilia and Talo walked into the corridor only to find Link and Zelda kissing.

"OOOH LINK HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" Talo shouted.

"That's just as bad as Telma!" Ilia said in frustration, "Come on Talo, I'll take you to the Wind Waker room. They're only 12, so nothing like this can be going on."

"I hope." She added after a moment of thought.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the Twilight Princess waiting room, they received some unexpected visitors.

Young Princess Zelda and Link from the game "Ocarina Of Time" walked into the room.

"One day we will own a big house with lots of jewels and 47 children." Zelda said to Link.

"I think 47 is a bit too much."

"Okay, 3."

"Yes."

"HANG ON." Young Zelda said, "Where are we?"

"Erm, you've walked into the Twilight Princess room…" Said Mayor Bo.

"OOOH! Can I meet my anscestor? Pretty pretty please?" Zelda said excitedly.

"Sorry little 'un." Said the Mayor, "I'm afraid she's… busy…"

"Doin' what?" Link asked.

"Errrr…" They Mayor faltered.

"She's having a snog fest in the corridor with Link." Telma told them.

"Oh. Well. Okay then. Ummm… bye…" The two young children left the room feeling very very very confused.

Link and Zelda (TP) Entered.

"How was your snog fest guys?" Renaldo asked.

"Our what?" Link asked.

"That's how Telma explains it."

"Oh."

"Hey, I'm BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ORED." Zant suddenly said, "Let's play a game."

"What, like catch the diorreah?" Link asked, "No thanks."

"Nooo, let's play twister!" Zelda said, happily.

**~10 minutes later~**

Zelda was no longer happy, as having to move her right hand to red unfortunately made her face right up Ganondorf's massive bum.

She quit.

**~15 minutes later~**

"I am still bored." Zant complained, "Let us play 21 dares."

"Okay! At least nothing can go seriously wrong with a little dare!" Zelda smiled. As long as the dare was not to smell Ganon's bum (Which was hairy) she was happy.

**~20 minutes later~**

"Oh for fuck's sake." Zelda sighed as she massaged Ganondorf's feet.

Which were big, green, hairy, cheesy and his nails were basically claws.

She was never playing anything with Zant ever again.

**Okay! So that is chapter one over! As you can tell these are going to be short one-shots!**

**Please leave which game you would like me to do next in the comments!**

**Until next time!**


End file.
